Parasocial refers to a one-sided relationship where a person feels a strong connection to a media personality, such as a celebrity or influencer, despite having no personal interaction with them. This phenomenon often occurs through repeated exposure to their content, leading individuals to perceive these figures as friends or confidants.
Parasocial was recently selected by the Cambridge dictionary as their word of the year for 2025. While originally defined in 1956 by sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl, it’s become more relevant today with people believing that they have relationships with actors, musicians, and social media personalities.
I’ve seen this with creators and performers. People read their books, watch their videos, or see their performances and begin to feel that they have a connection with them. This may be what triggered Max Maven to write his Parallax column, Mayday! Mayday!, in the May, 1992 issue of Magic. If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s worth researching and reading.
Recently I saw this happen with a magic dealer. Vanishing Inc. experienced a Denial of Service attack that resulted in the site crashing. It occurred right at the beginning of their Black Friday promotions. I have a theory of why VI was attacked, but it’s entirely speculation. What I didn’t expect was their blog post generating comments that can only be considered parasocial:
- Prayers for you and your company, very sorry to hear that this has happened.
- God bless y’all! I hope you all get some time off when this is finished
- God bless you guys for all you do for the magic community and the young magicians you support all over the world.
Let me clear – this attack is terrible and badly timed for any retailer. I’m sorry that it happened and glad that they pulled through. It appears that they managed to have a Black Friday sale albeit late and excellent sales on the long awaited Tim Conover books. The deluxe edition run of 500 copies sold out in less then an hour at the price of $500 each – $250,000 in gross sales should put a smile on CFO Jeff’s face.
I mention this because Vanishing Inc is a business that exists to sell you tricks, videos and books. As much as we enjoy the little “thank you” video when we make a purchase, Josh and Andi are there to sell us the next secret. Just like Erik and Nick at Penguin or the guy at Tannen’s or whoever. We need to remember that when we think we have a relationship with them, we are their customers – not a friend or confidant.
Which brings us to magic dealers! They’re not really interested in selling you great tricks. They’re interested in selling you all sorts of tricks. The latest idea is something you’ve just got to have.
Jim Steinmeyer, The Secret No One Tells You, 2008
Selling magic tricks is just like selling fashion. If hemlines go up for a while, you’ve got to be sold new dresses with the hemlines down. If black is the hip color, after a few years, they have to start making red dresses so that there’s a new product to buy. Fashions are sold to people who buy dresses, not people who look at dresses.
Don’t mistake the latest fashion for a sign of quality. And don’t assume that the latest trick on line represents anything that a spectator would particularly want to see at all.
They have a job to do, and they get to be pretty good at their joh. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that they’re supposed to be doing your job. Dealers are in the business of selling tricks to magicians, not to audiences. They’re not consultants. They’re salesmen.
